To say that the last two months have been hectic and busy would be a gross understatement, the likes of which are unheard of from my usual idiom of communication. It’s taken this long for me to get back to something approaching a normal schedule, and despite the fact that I start classes this coming Monday, I’m still not entirely at 100%. But, like I said, I have less than a week to go: the time to slack is running out.
I’ve spoken at length about depression here, and in other places, and it’s because of that fact that I feel like I really shouldn’t be relying on it as an excuse for why I have tended to nap for hours during the day and have been almost completely inactive on the weekends. But, like it or not, I still have depression, and like it or not, that still means I get wiped out a lot easier than healthy people do. It’s not so much an excuse as it is a challenge, and it’s one I’m going to have to overcome relatively quickly if I’m to solve the majority of my problems.
Part of this is that I do need to muster up motivation to do something extracurricular that poses an actual mental challenge. An acquaintance started translating old NES games for what I can only assume to be fun, and I’m thinking it might not be a bad idea to at least do the script work for some older titles as well. This is all predicate on me keeping up my studies; I refuse to accept anything less than a 3.0 from my report card, with a 3.5 being my ultimate goal. I will not fail, I will not falter.
I should probably also mention that I am getting very excited to get back into studying. I picked up the majority of my textbooks last week, and it’s been a bit of a struggle to prevent myself from reading through the novels assigned for one of the classes ahead of time. I’ve also flipped through my language books, and at that first glance they’re set up in a very interesting and different way from almost every other tutorial text I’ve seen on the language. It’s not about rote memorization of the kana, but very contextual; this echoes some of what I discovered about my own osmosis of the language through countless years of games and anime. It’s an extremely natural way to learn, and one which I’m sure will work for me.
As an aside, I tried taking the advice of several friends who told me to plow through a kanji dictionary a handful of pages at a time over the summer. I just couldn’t do it. I am fairly certain I need the interaction with other learners and actual speakers of the language in order to connect the mental dots. Which, coincidentally, brings me to my next point.
For me, college (the first time around) was as much about learning how to do certain things as it was learning how I learn. Endless calculus drills and derivations have left me all but unable to balance my checkbook, let alone determine the volume of an irregular solid in fifth-dimensional space. Reading through white papers and experiment results were excellent ways to put me to sleep. I literally could not endure another mumbled lecture on how multiple inheritance works in C++. But put a task in front of me, and I learned everything I needed to. Have me write about what I got out of a reading assignment and I could go to town on it. Ask me, and let me ask, and you’ll find that I get it a lot more easily than one might think. I learn by doing, by putting principles into action and experimenting with what I know (or think I know).
A few days ago, a friend posted a bunch of haiku to her blog, in written Japanese. I didn’t ask for a translation; I want to work it out for myself, and I know I will in time. But it’s that sense of going the extra mile, of wanting to fight through an assignment that piques my interest that has me more excited than the prospect of ten-minute rampages across campus to get to class on time, or lectures that warp the fabric of reality and become inescapable temporal anomalies. It’s not about learning to do. It’s about what I can do with what I learn.
And that is plenty motivation enough for me.